me after running for one minute: i'm still alive,... →
lulz-time: Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
someone: i don't like peanut butter.
me: ugh, what?
Police officer: Miss Lohan you're over the legal drinking limit.
Lindsay Lohan: THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!
When you see someone flirting with your crush
cityndcolour: basically 10000349857901384 times relevant ahah
Things I Say While Driving
Me: Fuck you, oh. Fuck. You.
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Good luck in the slow lane there, bud.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: Lolol your car's a piece of shit.
Me: If I miss that green light because of you...
Me: You're gonna cut me off? You better hope you have a damn good accelerator, bitch.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: Nope, roof rack.
niggapus: my life has more twists and turns than owen wilson’s nose
anditslove: I just don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to stay in bed all day long and watch lame romantic comedies and drink coffee and read books in your underwear. Whoever established all these “get a job, be successful” conventions really needs a serious beating. I didn’t sign the terms and conditions for this shit.
harrynohips: I don’t consider myself exceptionally pretty but that’s ok cause I consider myself exceptionally funny.