Putting your hood on like a boss
slenclerman: reasons to date me: -i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes -ive never killed a man (yet) -i once got 95% on guitar hero -you can play with my hair -im cheaper than a puppy
all i want is to get in a fight with a guy and scream at him to shut up and then he’ll push me roughly against a wall and whisper “make me”
supermegafoxyawesomehotnot: teruteruhanamura: im fucking cryiNG OH MY GOD???? THIS GUY FROM SHREK IS CALLED LORD FARQUAAD RIGHT??? AND FARQUAAD SOUNDS A LOT LIKE FUCKWAD WHEN U SAY IT LORD FUCKWAD HOW DID THAT ONE SLIP PAST SAY IT WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT
excalilbur: things i can’t imagine: someone having a crush on me someone thinking about me during random times of the day someone getting butterflies by thinking of me or talking to me someone wanting to talk to me but doesn’t, thinking they’ll annoy me someone thinking i’m genuinely cute and wanting to kiss me someone wanting to date me someone falling in love with me someone having ...
deanisanactualprincess: cassjaytuck: SOME NIGHTS I STAY UP WRITING AN ESSAY THAT I SHOULD’VE STARTED THREE WEEKS AGO am i the only one who heard that as a parody of some nights instead of just reading it
goddammitfenton: if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
Justin Bieber as a judge on the x factor
Justin: that performance was not swaggy
Justin: you dont have uh like the swag we're looking for
thatfunnyblog: i might still be ugly but i used to be uglier
adventuresonpaper: I’ll come back for you i whisper as i caress the books i can’t afford
wentzy: YOU ARE [SOBS VIOLENTLY] WHAT YOU LOVE [WIPES NOSE ON SLEEVE] NOT WHO LOVES YO U [FALLS DOWN STAIRS]
bowlegsandangels: killercest: cameronjohngodfrey: azazels-child: why is sexuality such a big thing like just have sex with whoever you want as long as they consent why is it such a huge thing You should run for office. if i ran for office i would end up legalizing situational murder yeah, definitely run for office.